A Bad Tan
So I have no really cool, interesting, captivating updates on my glorious life, but I do have a funny story to share.
I went fishing on Thursday with my hubby and our friend, Tim, and thought to myself, "By golly, I'm going to tan my legs today in preparation for our family vacation on the fourth of July weekend." 'Cause, ya see, my legs will blind a person. They're THAT white. I could signal a plane to rescue me (if ever I became lost) just by rolling up my pant legs. Guaranteed to catch the pilot's eye.
My logic was that I was likely to blind fewer people in the middle of Wyoming on a secluded section of shoreline than I was if I were to try and tan elsewhere. Besides, one of the two men I was with is stuck with me through thick and thin whether my legs are a scary sight or not. The other guy strategically sat as far away from me as possible once we arrived at our destination. Coincidence? I think not. ;) And Zoe? Well, she's colorblind. And even if she weren't, she'd still love me because I feed her and let her sleep on my pillows.
I was set to go. My plan was flawless.
Minus the fact that it was 80+ degrees and we got to the lake at approximately 8:45 am and didn't pack up to come home until, oh, 3:45 pm. About 3/4 of the way through, I started to feel the flesh on my feet begin to simmer. You could have cooked eggs on the poor little fellas. But thanks to the awesome umbrellas we packed and the nice breeze, there were moments where I was on the cold side. So, my feet would get stuck back out into the elements to warm the rest of my body up.
Fast forward to the ride home. Ouchie. I started to wonder just how far up my legs I was crispy. . . turns out it wasn't just my feet. I am officially a lobster from my feet (minus my toes. . . they somehow escaped punishment) all the way up to my knees. But only on one side, of course. I'm still pasty white on my calves. Aaaand, thanks to being pregnant, my ankles picked now to start swelling. Bad combo.
So it hasn't been too fun to be me the past few days. But, oh well! Bless the people who decided to bottle up aloe vera and disperse it to us unfortunates. Bless them. But, uh, I will say this-- it's not cool to have an inch of aloe vera smeared on both of your swollen lobster legs with a yellow lab taking up residence in your home. Dog hair + aloe vera = layers of white hair crusted to your skin for days.
My word of advice? Red is not always better than white, my friends. :)
I went fishing on Thursday with my hubby and our friend, Tim, and thought to myself, "By golly, I'm going to tan my legs today in preparation for our family vacation on the fourth of July weekend." 'Cause, ya see, my legs will blind a person. They're THAT white. I could signal a plane to rescue me (if ever I became lost) just by rolling up my pant legs. Guaranteed to catch the pilot's eye.
My logic was that I was likely to blind fewer people in the middle of Wyoming on a secluded section of shoreline than I was if I were to try and tan elsewhere. Besides, one of the two men I was with is stuck with me through thick and thin whether my legs are a scary sight or not. The other guy strategically sat as far away from me as possible once we arrived at our destination. Coincidence? I think not. ;) And Zoe? Well, she's colorblind. And even if she weren't, she'd still love me because I feed her and let her sleep on my pillows.
I was set to go. My plan was flawless.
Minus the fact that it was 80+ degrees and we got to the lake at approximately 8:45 am and didn't pack up to come home until, oh, 3:45 pm. About 3/4 of the way through, I started to feel the flesh on my feet begin to simmer. You could have cooked eggs on the poor little fellas. But thanks to the awesome umbrellas we packed and the nice breeze, there were moments where I was on the cold side. So, my feet would get stuck back out into the elements to warm the rest of my body up.
Fast forward to the ride home. Ouchie. I started to wonder just how far up my legs I was crispy. . . turns out it wasn't just my feet. I am officially a lobster from my feet (minus my toes. . . they somehow escaped punishment) all the way up to my knees. But only on one side, of course. I'm still pasty white on my calves. Aaaand, thanks to being pregnant, my ankles picked now to start swelling. Bad combo.
So it hasn't been too fun to be me the past few days. But, oh well! Bless the people who decided to bottle up aloe vera and disperse it to us unfortunates. Bless them. But, uh, I will say this-- it's not cool to have an inch of aloe vera smeared on both of your swollen lobster legs with a yellow lab taking up residence in your home. Dog hair + aloe vera = layers of white hair crusted to your skin for days.
My word of advice? Red is not always better than white, my friends. :)
I hope all your efforts pay off in that your burn turns to a tan rather than peeling off! I've been taking Luke and Bo on walks at the local pond ever since I finally got Bo to realize how a leash works and Luke and I have matching farmer tans haha so... I've been scandalously rolling up my sleeves to expose my shoulders. hey... everybody's doing it. Right?
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