Little Moments That Really Matter
First of all, Merry Christmas Eve to you all! I can't believe 2011 is already over. Didn't it just start, like, 5 months ago? Weird how that happens.
Let's just jump right into to the meat and potatoes of this post, shall we?
The past couple days have been rough ones. Depressed ones. Frustrated ones. I've been more mad at myself and my capacities as a mother than mad with Hannah's potential fussiness. She's a sweetheart, I promise {most of the time}!
I've tried rebooting my attitude multiple times, but I keep taking two steps forward and about forty steps back. I don't do well when I disappoint myself. I feel like throwing in the towel and sitting in my pity pool (complete with arm floaties) because 'trying' isn't getting me anywhere. But that attitude is no bueno. And so, alas, I keep trying even though I feel like it's a lost cause.
There is so much to be thankful for-- so many, many blessings, even on the rough days! There are so many little things that really matter but that run the risk of being unappreciated or overlooked simply because they're 'little'.
For example, I love how Hannah stretches out her arms high over her head and her tiny fists shake from stretching so hard.
Other "Little Moments That Really Matter" to me right now are:
- how she curls her toes when you tickle her feet.
- when she sticks her pouty lip out.
Exhibit A:
- how Chuck sneaks into the room when he comes home from a graveyard shift and steals Hannah (and her bassinet) and takes her into the living room with him. It gives me a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep, and it means so much to me! {I came out into the living room this morning to find him curled up on our "couch", sleeping in an insanely-uncomfortable-looking position. He's such a trooper! Oh, and no extra charge that I was going to gently wake him with a kiss on the forehead but Zoe saw me coming, got excited, started wagging her tail, and hit Chuck in the face. Not such a gentle awakening, if I do say so myself.}
- how patient Zoe has been with this whole change. She's so gentle around Hannah, and it helps immensely to trust her like we do.
- how Zoe dives off the bed and crawls underneath it whenever Hannah starts to cry in the middle of the night. She ditches me and leaves me to fend for myself, the stinker!
- how Christmas lights illuminate a dark room like no other light can. :)
- how Chuck still loves me even though I butchered my attempt at making a cheesecake for his birthday for the second year in a row.
- how Pandora seems to always play awesome Christmas music right when I need it.
And for your viewing pleasure, here is Hannah's Christmas Eve outfit. I'll try to remember to post pictures of her Christmas Day outfit, too. Help me remember, ya'll. {And hopefully I remember to take some pictures to post! hahaha!}
Sorry the lighting is so bad. But I guess that's just how I roll :)
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Let's just jump right into to the meat and potatoes of this post, shall we?
The past couple days have been rough ones. Depressed ones. Frustrated ones. I've been more mad at myself and my capacities as a mother than mad with Hannah's potential fussiness. She's a sweetheart, I promise {most of the time}!
I've tried rebooting my attitude multiple times, but I keep taking two steps forward and about forty steps back. I don't do well when I disappoint myself. I feel like throwing in the towel and sitting in my pity pool (complete with arm floaties) because 'trying' isn't getting me anywhere. But that attitude is no bueno. And so, alas, I keep trying even though I feel like it's a lost cause.
There is so much to be thankful for-- so many, many blessings, even on the rough days! There are so many little things that really matter but that run the risk of being unappreciated or overlooked simply because they're 'little'.
For example, I love how Hannah stretches out her arms high over her head and her tiny fists shake from stretching so hard.
Other "Little Moments That Really Matter" to me right now are:
- how she curls her toes when you tickle her feet.
- when she sticks her pouty lip out.
Exhibit A:
- when she does this funny little 'fake cry' that comes out more like a sad little whimper.
- when I just finish changing her diaper and I hear her fart (which likely means she's working up another masterpiece). Frustrating, but funny.- how Chuck sneaks into the room when he comes home from a graveyard shift and steals Hannah (and her bassinet) and takes her into the living room with him. It gives me a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep, and it means so much to me! {I came out into the living room this morning to find him curled up on our "couch", sleeping in an insanely-uncomfortable-looking position. He's such a trooper! Oh, and no extra charge that I was going to gently wake him with a kiss on the forehead but Zoe saw me coming, got excited, started wagging her tail, and hit Chuck in the face. Not such a gentle awakening, if I do say so myself.}
- how patient Zoe has been with this whole change. She's so gentle around Hannah, and it helps immensely to trust her like we do.
- how Zoe dives off the bed and crawls underneath it whenever Hannah starts to cry in the middle of the night. She ditches me and leaves me to fend for myself, the stinker!
- how Christmas lights illuminate a dark room like no other light can. :)
- how Chuck still loves me even though I butchered my attempt at making a cheesecake for his birthday for the second year in a row.
- how Pandora seems to always play awesome Christmas music right when I need it.
And for your viewing pleasure, here is Hannah's Christmas Eve outfit. I'll try to remember to post pictures of her Christmas Day outfit, too. Help me remember, ya'll. {And hopefully I remember to take some pictures to post! hahaha!}
Sorry the lighting is so bad. But I guess that's just how I roll :)
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I literally LOL'd when you said that your husband was woken up by a smack to the face of the dog's tail!!!! Awesome. :)
ReplyDeleteIt will get better, dear, but it won't be all at once, and it won't let up easily. By about seven months I had something worth getting up for. But that's a long time, and that was PPD. Keep an eye out for it, and care for yourself, no matter how hard it is. And you won't be a perfect parent, even 18 years from now. I only realized this recently, so hopefully you'll learn faster than me :) My son tried to swallow pills today that I dropped on the floor for LITERALLY 2 seconds. It just isn't ever going to go right. :)
Get a priesthood blessing. Write in a journal. Do what you do here--remember the good things. Keep calling for help, keep in contact with others. You are loved.
Also remember two awesome things:
1. You seriously do NOT look like you ever had a baby!! I am so jealous! :)
2. I've never made cheesecake, so you are a good lookin' fancy pants!
Merry Christmas.
Never forget those moments! :) They may be little, but by all means as you have stated they matter most :)"behold i say unto you that by small and simple things are great things come to pass." Keep doing the small things like counting your blessings as you are... and soon that's all you will see :) Hannah is adorable :) Motherhood is GREAT!
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