There I Go Again!
Sometimes I entertain myself with grand thoughts of blog posts making money for my family. And then I realize, "Oh, wait. I don't post consistently. At all. Like, ever. And I've nothing really to say that would generate any revenue."
And so that dream slowly fades away to be replaced by dreams of a maid that does my laundry. Or of being able to eat an entire bag of grapes with no ill side effects. You know, important stuff like that.
Basically what I'm getting at is: I'm sorry for dropping off the face of the earth periodically. I'm just really good at it.
. . . .
I've written enough about "ruts" on this blog that you could mistake it for the Grand Canyon {like HERE and HERE}. Unfortunately, I don't write about my ruts nearly as often as they happen. You guys, I'm like a professional rut-maker-person.
I coast along, happy and content, and then realize that coasting isn't getting me anywhere but backwards. I get all lazy and depressed and despondent because I've allowed myself to coast for so long, I can't convince myself that work will actually help.
I get really bad at coasting in the spiritual sense. I don't really read my scriptures {or study them, for that matter}; I'm lucky if I convince myself to kneel at night to pray and usually offer up some blabber from the softness of my pillow; I don't pray with my hubs; I don't teach Hannah how to pray; I don't try very hard at my calling. . . the list could go on.
The ironic part is that I still expect to feel the peace I do when I'm DOING those things. It's like Satan convinces me that those things aren't the real reason I'm happy, so it doesn't matter if I do them. And I must believe him, because I do this every few months.
Then, when I reach rock bottom, I finally get my head screwed back on and start over. I convince myself that I need to start doing the "small and simple" things again. And, just like magic; I become happy again. Truly happy. It's like a switch being flipped.
So why can't I just keep the darn switch flipped all the time?
Because I'm human. And I make mistakes. And it's just something I struggle with. I may always struggle with it, although I certainly hope that's not the case.
. . . .
Some of us struggle with the same things. Others struggle with other things. The point is that none of us are perfect, and the fact that we often measure ourselves against a perfect backdrop is demeaning and really not very helpful.
I was reading one of my favorite books, "Believing Christ" by Stephen Robinson, just this week. I would highly, highly recommend you read it if you haven't already. He has a very unique style of writing as though he's talking to you, which makes for an easy {and yet very uplifting and informative} read. Anywhoo, at one point he talks about how Latter-Day Saints have a little habit of saying the phrase "keeping the commandments" as though it is absolute. For example, we've all heard a talk given where the speaker announces that we all need to "keep the commandments in order to be happy and saved in the Kingdom of God" or something along those lines.
What that person probably means is that we all need to "try our very hardest to keep the commandments in order to be happy and saved in the Kingdom of God."
No one keeps all the commandments all the time. We have allllll messed up and fallen short of being saved by our works. We need the grace of God; the Atonement of Jesus Christ, to make up for the wide chasm of difference between perfection {and therefore entrance into the presence of God} and our current state.
What a lot of people {Church members included} either don't know or don't believe is that Christ offered up His perfect life so that we can be perfect in Him. As soon as we enter into the baptismal covenant with Him, we become perfect; immediately. We don't become perfect as individuals, of course, but our countless liabilities are swallowed up by His infinite assets.
All that is required of us is that we do our very best at what He asks of us. If we give Him 100% of what we have {even if that is the smallest fraction of what perfection demands}, He will make up for the rest. Instantly. One day, many moons from now, we will become perfect individuals. But that will take much longer than our mortal life. . . so why do we habitually hold ourselves to perfection right now?
Why?
I think Satan wants us to quit. He wants us to feel so weak and so helpless that we want to give up. He wants us to compare ourselves to everyone else; mainly our weaknesses to their strengths. He wants us to get so wrapped up in our problems that we fail to see the grace of the plan Heavenly Father laid out for us.
When I get in my spiritual rut, I feel like I needn't bother getting out because I'll just find my way back in. But what I usually fail to notice until just before I try again is that it doesn't matter how many ruts I get into. What matters is the number of times I pull out of them. It doesn't matter that I struggle with this; it matters that I trust in the Lord to help me overcome it. It doesn't matter that I'm far from perfect; it matters that I know He will lend me HIS perfection until I can gain my own.
I should never get lazy in my scripture study. But
It honestly doesn't matter what you or I have done in the past. The only thing left to do is shape our future the way we want it to be. Do we want to choose "liberty and eternal life, through the Great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil" (2 Nephi 2:27)? We need to repent of the wrong and focus on the right. I'm here to promise you that the way to true and lasting happiness is in the gospel of Jesus Christ. There's no other way. You can be like me and try to find it in other things, but it will always run out eventually. So save yourself a lot of time and take it from me-- trust in the Lord. He knows what He's doing!
You are perfect just as long as you're trying.
Comments
Post a Comment