Dear Moms-To-Be. . .
I've written a semi-similar post HERE about what I learned since getting pregnant. This post, however, will be a way to enlighten myself in the future when I've forgotten all of this "new baby" stuff. Something prompted me to record some of the little things I've learned over the last sixth months. . . Silly little things that I never saw anyone ever mention in the baby books. Which, let's face it, is impressive seeing how there are about 60 million of those.
Maybe I should just write my own baby book and make 50 cents. That'd pay for half of an ice cream cone, so I'd be good to go.
Ahem.
Back to the task at hand.
. . . . .
{These come in no particular order of importance, mind you. . . just the way they came out of my noggin}
1) Buy bottles with as few hootin-annies (and crevices) as possible. And yes, that's a real word, thank you very much. By "hootin-annies" I mean thingy-mabobs. Does that help clarify? If you have fourteen different pieces per bottle, you are going to potentially lose fourteen pieces. And you're also going to have to assemble fourteen pieces to make a bottle approximately 687,021 times per day.
2) When cleaning your bottles 687, 022 times a day, be sure you dissemble the entire thing. I know it's tempting to save time and sanity by only washing the nipple without taking it out of the nipple-cap-ring-thing, but you'll regret it when one day you find not-so-pleasant stuff threatening to grow in the crannies. Gross.
3) Try to find washing bottles/breast-pump-stuff as therapeutic. I'm dead serious. Because you'll be doing it -- yup. You guessed it. 687,022 times a day. If you can find some sort of groove to get into while doing dishes, they'll seem a lot less daunting and mind numbing.
4)Reading every single article and book on parenting is impossible. Trust me, I gave it a go, and it nearly made me go mentally insane and question my motherly intuition at every turn. I felt that if I didn't read the entire book/magazine, I would miss some article that would come into play later in my child's life. That's possible, yes. But you know what? You can't keep up on every single piece of information out there. Do your best, and let the rest of it drop.
5) Fabric bibs are great for when your munchkin is a spit-up machine, but when they get older and start to devour real life food, buy the bibs you can wipe clean. You'll thank me.
6) There will come a time {possibly many times in just one day} that you will literally thank your dog out loud for acting as an older sibling to your kid. And by "acting as an older sibling" I don't mean beating up your kid and blaming them for breaking stuff. I'm referring to how they are wonderful at distracting your little one and making them laugh. . . which, let's be honest, is a LIFESAVER at times.
So, thank you Zoe. You're the bomb.com.
7) It might be 95 degrees outside, but that means it will be cold indoors a lot of the time. So if you have a wee one, pack a blankie or a sweater so that they don't get too cold while sitting under the AC. Murphy's Law says that you will sit directly by a vent, after all.
8) It's okay if you get upset. I lose my cool with Hannah sometimes. It doesn't make you a bad parent, or a bad person. If it does, we're all in the same boat. In fact, we're gonna need an ark or somethin' to keep us all afloat. Parenthood isn't as you see in the pictures of all those fancy magazines or movies. . .
Lies! :) That's a picture. That's not real life. So don't go stick your head down a deep, dark hole if your kids don't always look perfect or act perfect. They're kids {or, in my case, a baby}.
Life happens, my friends, and it creates messes. So go enjoy it the best you can!
Maybe I should just write my own baby book and make 50 cents. That'd pay for half of an ice cream cone, so I'd be good to go.
Ahem.
Back to the task at hand.
. . . . .
{These come in no particular order of importance, mind you. . . just the way they came out of my noggin}
1) Buy bottles with as few hootin-annies (and crevices) as possible. And yes, that's a real word, thank you very much. By "hootin-annies" I mean thingy-mabobs. Does that help clarify? If you have fourteen different pieces per bottle, you are going to potentially lose fourteen pieces. And you're also going to have to assemble fourteen pieces to make a bottle approximately 687,021 times per day.
2) When cleaning your bottles 687, 022 times a day, be sure you dissemble the entire thing. I know it's tempting to save time and sanity by only washing the nipple without taking it out of the nipple-cap-ring-thing, but you'll regret it when one day you find not-so-pleasant stuff threatening to grow in the crannies. Gross.
3) Try to find washing bottles/breast-pump-stuff as therapeutic. I'm dead serious. Because you'll be doing it -- yup. You guessed it. 687,022 times a day. If you can find some sort of groove to get into while doing dishes, they'll seem a lot less daunting and mind numbing.
4)Reading every single article and book on parenting is impossible. Trust me, I gave it a go, and it nearly made me go mentally insane and question my motherly intuition at every turn. I felt that if I didn't read the entire book/magazine, I would miss some article that would come into play later in my child's life. That's possible, yes. But you know what? You can't keep up on every single piece of information out there. Do your best, and let the rest of it drop.
5) Fabric bibs are great for when your munchkin is a spit-up machine, but when they get older and start to devour real life food, buy the bibs you can wipe clean. You'll thank me.
6) There will come a time {possibly many times in just one day} that you will literally thank your dog out loud for acting as an older sibling to your kid. And by "acting as an older sibling" I don't mean beating up your kid and blaming them for breaking stuff. I'm referring to how they are wonderful at distracting your little one and making them laugh. . . which, let's be honest, is a LIFESAVER at times.
So, thank you Zoe. You're the bomb.com.
7) It might be 95 degrees outside, but that means it will be cold indoors a lot of the time. So if you have a wee one, pack a blankie or a sweater so that they don't get too cold while sitting under the AC. Murphy's Law says that you will sit directly by a vent, after all.
8) It's okay if you get upset. I lose my cool with Hannah sometimes. It doesn't make you a bad parent, or a bad person. If it does, we're all in the same boat. In fact, we're gonna need an ark or somethin' to keep us all afloat. Parenthood isn't as you see in the pictures of all those fancy magazines or movies. . .
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Life happens, my friends, and it creates messes. So go enjoy it the best you can!
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