. . . What If?
In honor of the brand spankin' new, untarnished, squeaky clean 2013 year, I wanted to address something a little different then the typical lists of resolutions you hear bouncing around this month.
Don't get me wrong-- I have a handful of heartfelt resolutions I've promised to work on and that I fear won't see the other end of January ;) but it's the 'WHAT IF'S' I'd like to talk about right now-- the things we can't control. I can control if I really actually reorganize and streamline my home or if I just fake it. I can control if I study my scriptures more diligently or if I only read a couple verses on my phone before conking out.
Okay. . . Story time, folks.
Many moons ago, my parents got a divorce when I was 12. My mother, older sister and I moved in with my grandparents in another city until we could find a permanent place, thus resulting in massive amounts of change in my preadolescent life. I coped by delving into obsessive behaviors which landed me on the doorstep of depression when I couldn't control things.
One of the things that made me the most obsessive and thereby depressed was the concept that I couldn't guarantee that my mom would always be safe and healthy. When she left for work in the morning, I would basically make myself ill worrying about things like: "What if she gets in a car accident?" "What if she gets really sick?"
I couldn't control that aspect in my life, and it drove me slowly insane.
Of course, nothing ever happened to my mom and I have long since overcome my bout with obsession and depression {although I do claim to have "selective OCD", as my husband and old roomies can attest :D, but it's a completely different thing}.
. . . . . .
Worrying about the "what if's" in our lives will only make us unhappy. Trust me. I know.
In 2013, there are looming "what if's" around every single corner.
What if the fiscal cliff forces a million small businesses to close and . . . and . . . ?
What if my computer crashes and I lose all of my pictures and. . .and. . .?
What if my husband's work suddenly and unexpectedly lays him off and. . .and. . . ?
What if I can't have another baby and. . . and. . . ?
What if our house falls down around our ears once we move in and. . . and. . . ?
What if there are more shootings and . . . and. . . ?
What if Hannah gets sick and. . . and. . . ?
That's only scratching the surface and I'm sure if you got to thinking about it, you'd have a mighty impressive "what if" list yourself. But if I had to guess, worrying about what I can't control gives my tummy ulcers. And I know for a fact that it makes me unhappy. Not to mention it makes me feel like, "What's the point? I'll just sit on my bum in my pjs all day because there's no point in even trying."
But that's all wrong.
There IS a point in trying. We can control certain things, and they desperately need controlling. We must each try very hard to be kind and faithful and generous and forgiving. We need to be patient and loving and dedicated. Whatever is important to you-- be dedicated to it.
Don't let the 'what if's" loom over your happiness and snuff out the joy in life. Live your life fully; enjoy the little moments that make up each day, month, and year. Don't be afraid. Bad things will happen, I'm quite sure. But we don't know how and we don't know when. We don't even know to whom they will happen. So why worry about it right now? I've always been a fan of the phrase "I'll cross that bridge when I get there."
So if 2013 happens to be one of the most sour years you've ever had, then so be it. But you'll cross that bridge when you get there. . . don't live each day waiting for the bad and sour to hit. Don't be afraid to fulfill your new resolutions regardless of how quickly they've fizzled out in years past. Don't define your future by how your past has played out.
So go have fun! Smile at a stranger and hug those you love. 2013 has so very much to offer if only you know where to look for it!
2012 I got more into politics then I ever have, and I feel very proud about this because I don't think its ever a good thing to be naive to the things going around you, but the one thing that I can note is that the more I knew, the more I feared and some of those "what ifs" did come into play, and then I became very stuck. I didn't want to go back to ignorance but I didn't want my anxieties to dictate my life either, and so the other day I asked my mother in law that very question. How does she handle it, How does she face the future when it can look so very grim? And she replied that our country could go into a economic collapse and that times will be hard, but then she replied.. "but even if our country were doing better, that doesn't prevent from PERSONAL tragedies to happen. A loved one can pass away, someone can miscarry, loosing a job, or suffering from depression, all of these things are possible even then." and that touched me, because I knew this was true. I-just as you, have had heartache and sorrow and survived and even thrived. Fear can be so disabling. And a I realize that's Satans work. He doesn't want us to move forward, and the more I face my fears (as Keira as blogged about before) the more I realize they generally aren't as bad as I might have thought.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this great reminder!