The First 2 Weeks

Oh, boy.

The first two weeks (well, I guess as of right now it has only been 12 days. . . I'm just rounding up :D) have been quite the journey. But before I get ahead of myself, let me just say that I would like to break this entry into two different sub-topics.

The first topic: "The Stud I Married"
The second topic: "I Can Do Hard Things"

Now, I'll try and keep this short and to the point so that sappy-chick-flick-love-song-music doesn't start playing in your head. But I would feel like an ungrateful partner if I didn't at least try and thank my husband for everything he has done to help me the past two weeks (although he's always been a stud).

I'm not even sure he realizes what a support he is to me.

Not only did he help me through my contractions, labor, and delivery like a champ, but he immediately started helping out with Hannah once she was born. When I found myself bawling in the hospital bed while trying to get Hannah to nurse, he was right there by my side to encourage and support me. And hand me Kleenex.

He has helped change Hannah's dirty diapers; he has helped calm her down when she has been fussy; he has taken charge of her without me having to ask so that I could get a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep. He has done loads of laundry; cleaned the dishes; helped clean up around the house; fed me lasagna because I was busy nursing and needed both of my hands; helped console me when I scratched and dented my mom and step dad's new car while backing it out of the drive way (stupid garbage cans); kept me company in the middle of the night when Hannah was busy being a little stinker. . . in short, he has done it all. He has even made me laugh and cry with happiness. Man, oh man. How I love him.

And now that he has returned to work (working 4 consecutive days of 12-hour graveyard shifts right now), he has remained upbeat and positive. . . and takes the time to kiss me like he means it before he leaves. And just let me tell ya-- that makes all the difference in the world to me when I've been trying to take care of a newborn 24/7 and I find myself emotionally and physically exhausted.

And that leads us nicely into topic number 2.

I stole the title from a friend of mine, who has talked about how she can do hard things on her blog {here}.

Having a kid is hard work, yo. If you don't have kids yet, I realize you hear that all the time (I know I sure did). If you DO have kids, you understand exactly what I'm talking about. For being so tiny, they sure take up a lot of time.

They require constant attention, and near-constant feeding. WHICH, by the way, hurts like none other if you're breastfeeding. I don't say that to sound like a pessimist or anything, I'm just trying to be honest. My sister and I decided it feels like you need an epidural in your boob. That's how good it feels. Hannah has left behind the nipple shield (that happened when she was 7 days old), and it's been an even BIGGER adventure since then. :)

Babies are very skilled at sucking away any semblance you had of a social life. If I'm being brutally honest, it was one of the hardest things for me the first time my husband went out to run errands while I had to stay behind. If you remember correctly, I'm the kind of woman who sits in a lawn chair in the garage while her husband rebuilds an engine just so she can feel like she's involved. I love running errands and 'doing things'. It doesn't matter if all it is is running to the parts store to buy a screw. . . I want to go. So suffice it to say that it hurt to be 'left behind'. But I survived!

Another thing that has been (and still is) one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, I have alluded to already. Breastfeeding. It has been a long, long, loooong journey already. Hannah usually goes about 2 1/2 hours or so between feedings, and that is really helpful. Especially at night, because then I feel like I can get at least some sleep. But oftentimes, she's too tired to really cooperate very well. Either that or she is just too darn stubborn. I swear, sometimes she does everything in her power to prevent a good latch. And when I'm already hormonal and sleep deprived, that makes for some mighty challenging times.

I really don't want to make it sound like caring for my kid is all 'gloom and doom'. It's not! I absolutely love it! It's just hard. That's all I'm getting at. And I'm feeling particularly susceptible to mood swings tonight, which is probably why this entry is being written. Sometimes I get scared that I won't know what to do to take care of Hannah. What if she's crying and I can't get her to stop? What if this happens? What if that happens? What if. . .? What if. . . ? I try really hard to stay focused and positive, and sometimes that's easier said than done. And that's why I really appreciate all the love and support I have received from my husband, my family members, my friends, and the Lord.

I have been strengthened so far beyond my own capacity, it boggles my mind. I'm being completely serious, here. From the second I started labor and for every moment since then, the Lord has been there to strengthen me, comfort me, and grant me peace. He has never left me alone. When I have been feeling scared or sad, He has been right there for me to talk to and confide in. He listens to me as I cry and explain what I'm feeling. He understands where I'm coming from, and He succors me accordingly. He has blessed me with patience and understanding to where I feel like I have a fighting chance to care for my child without permanently messing her up :) It's pretty awesome!

I am so lucky to have my little family, and I love them with all of my heart!

Comments

  1. Bless your little heart, you are in the throes of it! And you can't start sleep training until six weeks, and it's just so difficult. I feel for you. Sometimes we feel obligated to just say how "awesome" parenthood is because we feel uncomfortable admitting it is truly a 90-degree uphill battle. It's 98% work and 2% cute for like...the first 7 months! But no one ever says that. I hope you know that as a fellow-mother, you are welcome to say that to me, especially as a PPD survivor, some days can be he--, simply because you can't get away long enough to pee! :) I would love to either keep you company or watch the little tiny for an hour while you got out! If you feel comfortable enough, of course. :) I don't want to pressure you, but sometimes when you're struggling at the beginning you need someone to be pushy and just do something for you so you can take care of yourself. :) I'm out of school now and bored out of my mind. I'd be thrilled to say hello, hold the baby while you get a real shower, or bring you a meal...or better yet, and awesome treat. :) Pretty please don't wait until you're at your wits end to ask me. I will be angry if you do! :) With a husband so dang busy, you're doing this mostly alone, and we're not meant to do this parenting thing alone. :) I'll facebook message you my number, even if it's just to sit and cry for a minute, or text me because you're terribly bored. :)
    You are a great mommy!

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  2. Husbands are awesome.He sounds like quite a catch! I am sorry you are exhausted and motherhood is hard. I will keep this short and sweet because frankly.. I'm not a mother and I don't know what that's like... but I will say the same thing the other Keira said... If you need anything please let me know... :) I would LOVE to be of assistance even for something as small as a text or phone call.

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