10 (moderately helpful) Tips for the New Mom of Two

Hello, friends!

I just got back from having a cavity worked on and so half of my face feels like it's sliding off of my skull right now. It's stellar. . . oh, wait. No it's not. It's almost enough to make me want to just start over and go with dentures for the rest of my days. Or maybe skip the dentures and gum down mashed bananas all the time.

So do yourself a favor and go floss your teeth and come back.

. . .

You're back?

Sweet. Let's get crackin'.

Now that a month has gone by since adding another kid to my arsenal, I've started to even out and not feel like a total crazy person 24/7. It's pretty darn awesome. I still have my moments of "holy crap" and I can't seem to get out of the house before noon no matter how hard I try, but I'm learning and relearning tricks to make life a little easier. And what better way to retain them in my noggin than record them on the blog?!




-- Having a mini-meltdown in the laundry room while hiding from your kids is normal. Or at least I'm making it so. Oh, but throw a load of laundry in while you're at it.

-- Buying a high-powered rubber band gun with which to bean your toddler as she deliberately disobeys you from across the room while you're nursing is tempting, but probably not approved. Just take calming breaths and count to 158 instead.

-- Pick your battles. The house might not be as clean as before, but if you're able to get some extra shut-eye or undistributed playtime with your kiddos instead, then it's worth it. Also, your toddler might be able to squeak by with more mischief than before, but as long as they're not trying to climb in the hot oven or play chicken with traffic, it's probably not going to be the end of the world. Take a chill pill and do your best at maintaining order without giving yourself ulcers over tiny things.

-- At the risk of sounding cliche, they really DO grow up fast. Try to enjoy the moments you have while they're little, but don't feel guilty if you don't enjoy your 2 year old's fourth poopy diaper in as many hours or if you don't jump for joy when you're running on 5 hours of sleep for the 4th week in a row. Parenthood has its ups and downs and that's okay.

-- Boys are really good at peeing in the air. And on your clothes. And on the carpet. And on their clean outfit. And on their own face. So beware and wear appropriate body armor. . . or get really proficient at changing a diaper in 15.3 seconds.

-- Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart. It's not akin to riding through a field of daisies astride a sturdy steed while eating an ice cream cone, THAT'S for sure. So don't let the parenting books deceive you. Also, don't assume you're the only person in the whole world that has issues or struggles with it. You ain't. Trust me. But it DOES get better. Get the support you need to succeed, but don't beat yourself up about it if you decide it's not for you.{for a little snippet on my first attempt at breastfeeding, you can click HERE and HERE}.
 
-- Don't assume your toddler will stand still long enough for you to get your baby's car seat out of the car. They will probably make a run for anything dangerous as soon as their feet hit the pavement instead. So if you're anything like me, you'll be best served by 1) parking your car by the cart return at the grocery store, 2) securing a cart posthaste, 3) buckling your toddler in first, and then 4) getting your car seat out. OR, if grabbing a shopping cart isn't feasible, get your car seat out first and then drag your toddler out of the car with your free hand.

-- Be patient with yourself and your new situation. It will take time to adjust and find your groove. . . but it WILL come! What ever you do, don't look at those supermoms with multiple well-behaved kids and their seemingly perfect homes and think you're a failure for struggling. They had to learn how to mother their kids just like you're learning how to mother yours. And they're not perfect, by the way. . . you just think they are. :)

-- Don't forget about your hubby! He might find himself feeling like the third wheel while you balance the near-constant needs of those little munchkins, so make sure you take time to show him you still remember his name. And take time to show yourself you still remember YOUR name, too.

-- Never underestimate the power of a good TV series {or an excellent new book!} in those first few weeks of no sleep.

. . . . .

Well, there you have it. I'm no parenting expert {dur}, but I like to think I know how to have a good laugh. . . so hopefully you had one, too. If you take nothing else from this post, put this in your pocket: don't take yourself too seriously, but don't sell yourself short, either. Parenting is the bomb.com, but some days it's more like an actual bomb. You're doing a great and marvelous work. Don't give up! :)